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A wonderful book for anyone with questions about divorce - written by Alex Robboy's mother :)
How to have good sex
Saying
the wrong name in your sleep
Ask Erika,
Last night I said another woman's name in my sleep but I do not even the woman
or have any memory of the dream. Now my wife thinks I know the woman and having
an affair. What do I do? Shawn
Dear Shawn,
Thanks for your question and I can understand why you would feel frustrated. The
best you can do is be honest with your wife, which it sounds like are already
doing. You could also tell her (and let her read this response if you'd
like) that everyone--men and women-go through regular sexual response
cycles when they sleep. Sometimes these are accompanies by sexual
dreams, which may have been the case in your situation. The fact that you don't
remember the dream or know the woman isn't surprising; the unconscious mind
often works in mysterious ways. It's also normal for people in relationships to
have fantasies about people other than their primary partner. Having a fantasy
about someone else doesn't mean that you will--or even want to--act on that
fantasy. Finally, you may want to explore with a relationship counselor the
issues of jealousy and trust in your relationship. Working through these issues
together with an objective, third party can be very helpful because jealousy is
an intense emotion that can potentially block open, honest, and productive
communication within a relationship.
