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A wonderful book for anyone with questions about divorce - written by Alex Robboy's mother :)
How to have good sex
Anger & Sexuality (written by Shan&Claude)
HTHGS: Anger and sexuality
Dear Shan & Claude,
I have been married for 7 years and during the past year my wife has not wanted
to have any sort of sexual relations with me. There is nothing that I am aware
of that could be affecting this type of reaction. She does mention frequently
that she feels "anger" when I try and touch her. Since January of this
year she had masturbated be maybe three times and I have taken care of myself 6
or 7 more. I am lost at this point and don't really know what to do. As days go
by it only seems harder to fix or understand. Suggestions please, Empty
Dear Empty,
Your wife’s anger could be a result of any number of things. It could
have nothing or everything to do with you. Could you ask her about where
the anger and rejection are coming from and what they are all about? Could
you tell her that you are hurt and feel neglected?
You also mentioned that it occurred when you tried to touch her? How does the “touch” bring about the anger? Is she angry with you at other times?
In regard to the masturbation… it is not the numbers that we are concerned about but how you and your partner feel about the masturbation, individually and as a couple. What does it mean to you? Is it pleasurable?
We only have so much we can go on based on your short e-mail. We would advise you to speak with her directly in an honest and compassionate way.
That may be challenging. It can be scary because you may not hear what you want. There is always that risk during communication. But, since you are obviously upset perhaps it will be worth the risk to you? Please do not hesitate to write again if you would like.
Please, remember that even the best Sexpert advice via the Internet could not substitute for Family Therapy or Couples Therapy with an actual person. Here is to pleasurable relationships! Shan&Claude
