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How to have good sex
Anal Pleasure / Anal Sex
 | The basic 101's (by Alex Robboy, LSW) |
| Anal Stimulation (by Alex Robboy, LSW) |
| Harm? (by Alex Robboy, LSW) |
| How to do the Venus Butterfly (written by the subscriber, Matthew B) |
| Anal Devices (Written by Shan&Claude) |
| Can't cum & anal sex (written by Dr. Pluhar) |
HTHGS: The Basic 101’s of Anal Stimulation
*** Before putting any object into a person’s anus use common sense. And for those of you who are at a loss of what common anal sense is keeping reading.***
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Listen to your partner. This includes both verbal and non-verbal cues. What does she/he verbally say? Has she/he told you she/he wants to experiment with anal stimulation? Does she/he like having her/his butt touched. Does she/he get more excited as your finger brushes along the tip of her/his anus? |
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Never try something on a partner that you would be unwilling to have tried on you (unless specifically requested). |
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Always use retrievable objects. Can you imagine having to rush to the emergency room and explain to the on-call doctor that you have part of a cucumber stuck up your butt? |
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Be clean. Wash all your tools with antibacterial soap and hot water before inserting them into your partner. You can also disinfect your toys by soaking it in hydrogen peroxide (full strength) for 15 minutes. |
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Always use smooth objects. Anything sharp or jagged runs the risk of puncturing the anal canal. This not only causes pain, but may lead to infection and other complications. |
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Avoid rigid objects. Flexible objects will enable you to maneuver through those curves in the rectum (and there are many of them!) |
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And most importantly, be realistic. If this is the first time experimenting with anal stimulation start small. Your finger-tip is more than sufficient and will definitely create a rise. Fisting, and other such forms of anal-play are something that takes time to learn how to do / receive. Trust & experience are something that only comes with time and practice. There is no such thing as an overnight expert. No one is good the first time they have sex. Everybody is slightly uncoordinated and miss the social cues that teach us about a partner’s body. Give yourself time. You have the rest of your life to perfect these techniques. Let yourself savor the moments of each ‘new’ thing that you try. |
This tip is written by Alex Robboy,
LSW
HTHGS: Anal Stimulation
Ask Alex
My girlfriend & I are thinking of experimenting with anal
sex. We have been discussing this for the past month, and
believe it is about time that we give it a go. We are
wondering if a condom is required. We are both monogamous
and free of other sexually transmitted infections. The contraception
that we are using is the pill. We have also heard that the initial penetration,
the anal sphincter is likely to give a violent spasm. Is there anything
that we can do to ease this?
Eager-to-Try
Dear Eager-to-Try,
If both you & your partner are "free" of sexually
transmitted infections and are monogamous, the need for a
condom is minimal. Choosing to use a condom is a personal
decision between you and your partner.
Pros of condom usage
| Cleaner - some people feel bothered by the idea that when the penis (or finger) is withdrawn there is fecal waste on it. |
| Safer - Even in a monogamous in relationship, each person is susceptible to infection with gonorrhea or HPV (warts) from a moist towel. Condom usage reduces the risk of sexual transmission. |
| Decreases the sensations slightly for the male, thus his erection may last longer. |
To begin experimenting with anal pleasuring
| Both partners must be willing. |
| Experiment with a finger, or an anal plug 
|
| Lubrication will help the entry process and will reduce the risk of tearing the inside lining of the anus. Saliva and water based lubricants work well. According to Jack Morin, author of Anal Pleasure and Health oil is a recommended method. Having spoken with several sex educators, I have heard mixed opinions about this recommendation. Thus to be SAFE, I recommend using water based lubricants and/or saliva. |
| If something hurts, STOP. |
HTHGS: Harm?
For all you women whose partner's want you to experiment with anal sex, it is
only fair that if they want to stick their penis inside your anus, that they too
be willing to experience something in their anus. Equality is the name of the
game. If you are ready to engage in anal play, then that means you are willing
to be on either end. You should be comfortable (or at least willing to try)
putting something in your partner's anus, and having something inside your anus.
To make this possible, I suggest keeping on hand a butt plug, small
dildo/vibrator, finger and some Astroglide to help the ride. I know some of you
may be reading this saying to yourselves, hey that's crazy. I do not have to be
comfortable being on both ends to enjoy having something inserted into me, or
inserting something into your partner. That is true, it is more an issue of
flexibility. It is important in your own sexual development to be comfortable
having done to you, what you do to others.
Some people have anal sex as a form of birth control. You can not get pregnant. Others have anal sex because they want to try something new. Experimenting can be fun. Some people choose to because it is so taboo. While others have anal sex for the simple reason, that it feels good. Anal pleasuring causes you to feel a sensation that is unlike anything else. There are no comparable sensations (but please feel free to write in descriptions which might be able to give others a better idea of what it could feel like). In fact, there is no one reason why people choose to incorporate anal sex into their sexual play. People choose to engage in anal sex due to desire, personal style, preference, and taste.
Tips written by Alex Robboy, LSW
-------------------------
HTHGS:
Anal Stimulation
Ask
Alex,
Recently, I was feeling playful. I didn't want to masturbate because I was
pretty sure I would have sex with my wife when she got home. I wanted to
please myself in some way. I decided to get out a slim vibrator that we have.
I never used it in quite this way before though. I lubed up well and
inserted it with the idea of directly stimulating my prostate gland because I
had read that this can be pleasing. Wow, was I surprised. I used the
tip to massage my gland. It felt so good I ended up getting pretty
aggressive. My rectum became so relaxed that I wanted some thing larger and more
powerful in there so I got out a larger vibrator and it went in fine. None
of this action gave me an erection, but it did give me minor ejaculations of
what appeared to be thin semen. It was not like having a regular orgasm.
It was very new feeling and great. After I decided to finally put things
away and clean up, I was left with a really pleasant relaxed feeling in my
abdomen that lasted into the next day. I did have intercourse with my wife
and it seemed better than usual and it seemed like I ejaculated more than I
usually do even though I had already put out the fluid I did earlier. This
whole episode was really great and I want to experiment with it more but I am
wondering if this could do me any long term harm in any way. Is it OK as
long as I don't feel any pain? Is this type of ejaculation normal and is
it regular semen that I was seeing? Confused,
Dear
Confused,
Yes, what you experienced was normal. Furthermore,
as long as you feel no pain, you can do no harm.
Enjoy!
HTHGS:
How to do the Venus Butterfly (written by the subscriber, Matthew B)
The Venus Butterfly: here's another classic technique that's become legendary. It all started with an episode of the 80's TV series "L.A. Law." They referred hinted as to how it was actually done. That show generated more mail than any other episode. Everybody was asking, "How do you do The Venus Butterfly?" Now, you'll finally know.
Here's What You Need:
**One bottle of baby oil.
Here's How You Do It:
Get your woman naked. Have her lie on her back, her knees bent and legs slightly
apart. Apply a little baby oil to your hands.
Put your hands together, as if you were saying a prayer. Bend each of your ring fingers down. The tip of your left ring finger should be touching the knuckle of your right ring finger; the tip of your right ring finger should be touching the knuckle of your left ring finger. All of your other fingers should remain extended.
Now comes the "ladies choice" part of this technique. In the classic Venus Butterfly, your extended pinkies would be inserted into your woman's anus. Many women prefer that, instead, you simply fold your pinkies over like your ring fingers. It's totally a matter of personal preference.
Next, insert your middle fingers into her vagina. Your index fingers should be placed on both sides of your woman's clitoris.
Keeping your fingers together, open your palms so that your
thumbs are about three inches apart. Begin to rub your fingers back and forth,
as if you were trying to warm them. When you do this, your hands will resemble a
butterfly flapping its wings.
Matthew B.
